A Bunk, A Desk, and A Toliet

In Remembrance of Big Mama (Bessie Mae Henderson)

Bessie at 17 Yr of Age

“"Baby, I am a can collector, and you are a can collector too. As you grow older, society and people will tell you all these things you can't do. People will tell you that there are things in life you "can't collect." But Korey, you can collect all your dreams.”

Aluminum Cans

While lying on my bunk, I hear the janitor outside my cell door, telling other inmates to put their trash in the black garbage and their empty aluminum cans in the blue trash cans. Aluminum cans are saved from commissary and prison visitation vending machines for the recreation department for sale for games like chess or checkers. Hearing the janitor collect the cans brought back a childhood memory. It reminded me of the best lesson I had ever learned from a woman who dug in the trash for aluminum cans for money.

Big Mama At Church

Memories and imagination are two gifts prison can't take from me. I smile and remember that I am the grandson of a can collector. As far back as my early childhood, I remember my grandmother, Bessie Mae Henderson, collecting aluminum cans for money. We affectionately called her Big Mama. She had a neurological condition called epilepsy. This condition is characterized by sudden and recurring attacks on her motor or sensory functions. She would have seizures and often go unconscious.

My mother explained her condition to me and told me never to panic. If Big Mama had an episode with me, to turn her on her side so she would not swallow her tongue. I was taught how to drive at a very young age. This way, if I was with Big Mama and she went into an epileptic seizure, I could drive us home.

Big Mama was a beautiful woman with a generous heart and a precious soul. She loved serving others and had a gift of hospitality. Like all her grandchildren, I felt I was Big Mama's favorite grandchild. And you could not tell me anything different. Big Mama spoiled me. While my mother worked two jobs and went to El Centro Community College, I spent much time with Big Mama.

Big Mama was a can collector, not an antiques or rare finds collector. Big Mama would drive in her car to the different neighborhood apartment complexes, climb in these huge garbage dumpsters and rummage through trash in search of aluminum cans. Big Mama was a can collector to supplement her income. Her social security checks were not enough to make ends meat. She would climb into these dumpsters and toss out all the aluminum cans. I would collect them off the ground, place them in trash bags, help her out of the dumpsters, and then go to the next dumpster.

Korey at 10-Yrs Old

I was just a 10-year-old boy. I was just excited to spend time with Big Mama. Eventually, I asked her to teach me the art of can collecting. Big Mama taught me the "art" of how to search the dumpsters and how to feel the trash bags for aluminum cans. Big Mama even taught me her secret to the success of "can collecting." When are the best times of the day to search the trash dumpsters for cans. This has become an adventure for me (can-collecting with Big Mama).

As time passed and I became a teenager, I was like most teenage boys. I was worried about being "cool" and what other people thought about me; remember this day. Big Mama gave me the best lesson I have learned. I was 13 years old, and as usual, Big Mama and I were on a can-collecting adventure. Soon as she pulled up into an apartment complex, I saw some girls my age sitting outside. I secretly liked one of the girls, Mesha, and I knew she liked me. Big Mama noticed the change in my demeanor when she pulled up and parked. I slumped low in the passenger seat as I didn't want Mesha to see me digging in a trash dumpster. Big Mama looked at me, saw my hesitation, and asked me a question I would never forget. She asked me whether I was ashamed to be seen with her can collecting. I couldn't respond. Seeing the young girls, Big Mama turned down her radio and told me from her heart,

"Baby, I am a can collector, and you are a can collector too. As you grow older, society and people will tell you all these things you can't do. People will tell you that there are things in life you "can't collect." But Korey, you can collect all your dreams. I want you to dream big and collect them. Today, you are a can collector, like your Big Mama. Tomorrow you can collect the dreams that your heart and mind desire. You may have to go through some trash in your life, but baby, you can collect your dreams."

Korey Graduate

Today, I am a CAN collector because of the wisdom I receive from Big Mama, who dug through Dallas apartment complexes for trash. People told me I couldn't attend college because of my prison sentence. They said my sentence was too long. My cans I have collected. I am the first male in my family to walk across the stage and collect several college degrees, such as BA in Business, a Master in Leadership, and a Doctorate degree in Nouthetic Counseling. Now I am a Life Coach. I will spend my life helping others shift through life's trash and collect their cans.